The Return

The Gang Misses The Boat

We continued on our journey over the sea, sailing with the pirate crew. It was largely uneventful, though by doing my part to keep the ship running I managed to make several friends among the sailors. Our old friend Slagathor showed up suddenly, and at first it seemed the captain called her a “sea-bitch”, but other than that not much happened until we found the ship we were searching for. Battle commenced, and it was pretty uneventful, straightforward combat—the highlight was definitely when I swung across from our crow’s nest and dropped down onto their ship like a BADASS to obliterate some scrub who thought he was people. After the battle we took the cargo from the ship, but we were caught in a strong and sudden storm. When the ship began to go down, Anamander teleported us out of the wreck to Charlestown, our port city destination. That was by far the saddest thing that’s happened to us on this journey—such a fine ship, drawn down into the depths by the confused machinations of a vengeful and slightly bitchy god. I will miss that boat. After parting ways with the captain, who’s probably going to have a few emotional issues to work through after seeing all of his livelihood and friends and coworkers drown in the depths of the dark sea, we heard screams that led us to a couple of mossy things attacking the town. We managed to dispatch them with relative ease, and once we were done we took stock of our situation.

The Gang Gets a New Member

After studying in the library for a couple days, something interesting finally happened (aside from finding a new tome about the Abyss). A group of adventurers showed up with some book that the head of the library requested in order to solve the rain problem. I guess this guy somehow never heard of sun showers before since the rain stopped. Anyways, while he was off fetching their reward the group began to argue and call the female in the group a bird, which was an apt description for her. The musical fellow of the group eventually took notice of me and struck up a conversation. It turns out that these four had been travelling together for a little while and that the girl contracted some nasty mummy STDs (I assume he meant mummy rot). After a long introduction to the group with many jokes at the girl’s expense I finally learned their names. The normie elf is Caellach, a sword Buddhist who also hears a voice in his head; the bird is Durra, a supposed scout and lady companion; the white boy is Chrys, a Chris Rock imitator; the swarthy fellow is Cletus/Pepper Jack, bear lover; the bear is Hudson Bear, a bear.

The high nerd eventually returned with gold for the group for their troubles and some for me since I’m such a dashing fellow. Nothing like some extra cash to help the cause of demon binding. I decided to hire this group to aid me in my quest to Atlanta to retrieve a valuable book filled with planar lore. Unfortunately, Durra had to leave since some guy by the name of Trogdor was killing young blonde women in near her home. I still don’t know if the rest of group has noticed her absence or not.

After a couple days we reached the salty city on the edge of the salty sea in the Bay of Salt. All this place has to offer is a bar, some houses, drunk military garrisons, the Eagles, and more salt. Given our many options, we elected to spend out time in the bar and try to procure passage across the sea. Place was fine except for the succubus that immediately seduced Chrys. Like, I mean right away. We were there for 5 minutes and he was already done for. If I didn’t notice the obvious spell on him he probably would’ve been sucked dry in the not so fun way. Caellach led the charge against this demon while I summoned some fiendish crocodiles to nip and scratch her toe-sy woesies. Once she was down I had my crocs drag her into my mansion and let the rest of the group in while I talked to the owner and some pirate to secure passage.

Before we rested for the night we attempted to rob the town’s treasury, but this dump of a town doesn’t even have one. I ended up bluffing our way too the mayor who almost figured out I wasn’t actually Dave from the FDIC. So, I had to mind crush him and the clerk to get the funds but it was worth it. Soon I’ll be able to continue my work and take down even bigger evil fiends. Cletus Jack(?) then teleported us back to the mansion without any trouble. All in all, I would say this was a good night. I got cash, a pirate ride, and a shiny new demon that I bind whenever I please.

We left early the next morning since the fuzz were about to catch our pirate friend and his ape friend. Still don’t know their names so I’m going to see how far I can get without addressing them by first name. Most of the voyage has been uneventful. I have been “helping” the cook but he has everything under control. After plowing through seaweed island we finally had something to do.

A group of harpy ladies attempted to attack our vessel but failed miserably. The crew had to tie themselves down to resist their song, but our group stood fast. Some of the creatures had cheaply made bows judging by their strings breaking, while the rest only had their claws. Caellach deflected arrows and protected our rat friends while I forced Tiamat’s underlings to fight for us. Pepper Cletus Jack was playing with Hudson until he remembered he could control lightning with his mind and sniped a couple of the harpies. Chrys summoned a flying creature to tank some damage while my abishais clawed, stung, and wracked their way through the enemy. A couple of them somehow made it to the ship but apparently didn’t know that a giant bear or that a dude with two swords who was chopping arrows out the sky were dangerous. Also, I disintegrated one of them for being brash and approaching me. Caellach and Chrys took some hits so I summoned a pair of Pain Devils to heal them. They were wary of my masked bloody servants, but accepted the healing the nonetheless. I think I saw Chrys cry a little though.

In the end, we sent the beasts back to the shadow realm. The crew seems more wary of us for some reason though. All that remains is a single question, where did those harpies come from? We were in the middle of a salt sea where there are no islands and the closest land is an inhospitable desert. I guess we’ll find out next time on Anomander-gi-oh!!

The gang solves the tentacle monster crisis

After fighting two tentacle monsters, we rested in the dungeon for two nights to recover from battle. We now had the ogre skull that would open the marble door that we tried to open earlier in this dungeon. When we went inside, we found 3 undead humans chained to the walls that looked like the priestess, Luton Eta, and her two assistant clerics. We also found a book in the room that detailed who was being killed at the temple. This book proved that the woman who was purifying people at the temple was a fake.

After searching the room, and putting the undead priestess and her assistants out of their misery, I listened to what was happening on the other side of the door. The fake priestess was conducting a service that had dozens of townspeople at it. Dura came up with a plan that involved throwing the real priestess out toward the fake one and showing the townspeople that the woman they were listening to was indeed a fake. This plan did work with a little assistance from Chryss. The tricky bard also managed to cast a spell on the fake priestess when he was convincing the townsfolk. Luta transformed into that weird tentacle monster and tried to cast a spell, but her words were jumbled and she couldn’t string together a sentence. We fought the beast and it finally fell to one of caellach’s maneuvers.
Once the battle ended, Bris and his boys took us in to question us about what had transpired in the temple. After showing them the evidence that we collected about the murders that had gone on in the temple, they let us go and rewarded us for solving the kidnapping crisis. With the dungeon cleared, and the city now safe from those monster things, Caellach, Chryss, Dura, and I were ready to part ways. That was until we heard more screaming coming from the temple.

The first thing we noticed when we left the tavern was that it was raining, but there weren’t any clouds in the sky. I’ve traveled all over this huge continent, and never have I seen weather so strange. When we entered the temple we realized that there were lots of people with blemishes on their faces. We later learned that the people who were healed by the fountain were the ones affected by this. Inside the temple we met an elf mage named slagathor, who caellach immediately took a liking to. His many attempts to woo her failed, but she still decided to help us find out why these weird things were happening in the town. Bris took us to see the leaders of the city, and they told us that to the west, there is a library that may have information on the strange things that were occurring in the city. With a new goal, we set off west to the library.

On our way to the library we encountered more sloths, which were handled easily by me this time. Once we reached the library, the leader there told us that 150 years ago they sent a man to obtain the book we were looking for, and he never returned. They then gave us a map that showed where the book was located, and sent us on our way.
We soon found the reason that the man the library sent to find the book never returned. On the way to find the book, we stumbled upon a cave that had noises coming from it. We sent the scout in to find out what it was, and she returned and told us it was a 12 headed hydra. We decided to end it’s reign of terror over the surrounding area by defeating it. This went well for some of our party members, and not so well with others. It attacked dura with 6 of its heads and brought her very close to death. Before any of us got a chance to attack it, Slagathor sent a giant chain of lightning at it and destroyed all 12 of its heads. After laughing at how easy slagathor killed the beast, I healed dura. When she woke up, she started to develop the same blemishes that the townspeople had.

After a few more days of traveling, we arrived at the run-down castle where the book was supposed to be. When we entered, we started feeling weaker. We encountered 4 enemies inside: Three undead that looked like they were made of flesh, and one floating enemy that seemed to be their leader. Whenever we got hit by one of the undead, we were stunned and dazed, so to avoid that I used fire storm from outside of the castle and managed to the floating monster. The rest of the party took out the remaining 3 undead

The Mausoleum Adventure - Excerpt

Though rotting they were from the mummy’s unholy disease,
The powerful bard broke the curse with his magic and ease.

As the group traveled farther into the tomb’s inky abyss,
Behold! Wretched captives locked up in cells with their own piss.

Guarding the captives, a score of men kept vile watch.
The sword sage, with fire and flame, took them all down a notch.

But imagine our heroes’ surprise when two keepers revealed
That noodle arms hid beneath skin when that fake skin was peeled!

Those noodle heaps heaved; a pox when conceived.
A feast on our fighters those monsters perceived.
But despite the beasts’ tentacles, righteous success was achieved!

A lone living guard spilled the beans on the evil ones plot.
They planned to kill all of the captives, who numbered a lot,

Then bring the slain back from the dead and feast on them all.
The group forged onward to hasten the temple’s downfall.

It's Arrested Development - Dûra
Zombies and Mummies suck


It’s been a rough couple of days… In between the somewhat lighthearted barbs about my gender and supposed promiscuity or lack thereof (it varies on the mood), we’ve had our asses kicked on a regular basis. Upon our second attempt to gain entrance to the mausoleum, we were waylaid by surprisingly agile and carnivorous sloths who proceeded to attempt to carry us off of one by one in their mouths deeper into this dark forest. I only just escaped certain doom by prying my way out of one their jaws at the last minute. Caellach would have surely been lost had Cletus not spawned a bear to impede the one that had chewed Caellach into a state of unconsciousness, giving me just enough time to fell the fell beast with a shot from my bow. Having just barely survived this encounter we decided to regroup and try again the next day after capturing one sloth that I subdued with the blunt end of my sword and selling him to the zoo. I might have objected more to this pugnacious decision had the sloths not covered me and my compatriots in an inch thick sheen of saliva. Of course this all could have been avoided if the druid had remembered that he has a natural link with wildlife. I still don’t forgive him for that.

Setting out the next day, we entered to mausoleum. Caellach quickly discovered a secret door cut into the wall. Inside were rows of corpses and at the far end of the room was a key glinting in the torchlight atop a pile of debris. Cletus resolved to spawn a lizard to bring the key to us in the inevitable event of these undead creatures waking from there slumber. On cue these degrading vestiges of life rose from their prone positions and murderized the lizard. Determined to retrieve this key, I rushed into the room despite my ineptitude against undead, certain that I could retrieve the key and return to the hallway. However, these undead had a wicked power that left my dazed and sapped my strength and the party was led into another conflict for which we were ill prepared. In the end, I retrieved the key but lost all ability to move, Caellach and Chrys remained unaffected but had to haul Cletus and my own limp frame to the temple of Pelor to recover our strength. At the temple after dunking ourselves in this miracle pool, we witnessed the head priestess emerge from a secret passage in the temple hall but decided not to followup. Looking back, this was almost certainly a mistake. giphy.gif

Returning to the mausoleum for what felt to be the fifteenth time, we quickly made our way down the narrow passageways, finding odd trinkets including some prism thing, and getting smacked in the face by blade traps. Down a spiral staircase we came upon the end result and the source of these abductions. We discovered two rooms: one full of prisoners and the other where the prisoners were sure to end up, a chamber of mangled corpses. After freeing the prisoners, we learned what I had suspected for some time. These “priests of Pelor” were commiting these atrocities. Though we still do not know for what foul purpose it, is certainly to do with that seemingly miraculous fountain and undead creatures haunting the mausoleum. We also came upon a door with a strange lock that unfortunately did not match the key that I almost died to obtain.

Further into the mausoleum, we were beset by several mummified monsters. I was paralyzed instantly and, to my regret, was of little use in the fight as all of our foes were once again undead. In another close call, we slew the mummies, but the bard and I contracted some hideous disease, and it appears to be quite serious in the bards case. I pray that we might find the end to this monstrous dungeon soon. These “priests” must pay for their slaughter and deception, and I cannot do that underground. We need to find a way into that door, and as I stand here surveying the scene I believe that I may have found it. One of the mummy’s head seems to be a perfect match to the indentation in the lock

An Unexpected Journey
(A Ho's Tale)

After months of a solitary journey, I am no longer alone in my travels. While with a caravan heading south, I encountered several humans who attracted my interest. A druid, Cletus, a bard named…something…and a third who kind of looked like a human, but I’m not fully convinced yet. We spoke for a short while, but I decided against telling them of my quest to resurrect the Sublime Way. Cletus the druid struck me as someone I could get along with, and I was impressed by the dire bear traveling along with him. The caravan arrived at a town called Fraxia, and we all decided to disembark and go into the city, where we encountered a temple that claimed to house a fountain of youth. The head priestess told us that while many had been healed by the fountain, a shadow was cast on the town by the multiple kidnappings of those who had been affected. After deciding to return later that day to speak with her further, Cletus the druid, who was becoming a fast friend, and I went to an inn called the Miner’s Delight to get lodging—interestingly, Miner’s Delight was also apparently the name of the “girl” I had met in the caravan. At dinner that night I unfortunately had a bit too much to drink and ended up missing my chat with the priestess. The next morning, Cletus and I went to visit the city’s zoo while Miner’s Delight went off to the mines—or as Cletus put it, to the Business Place to do Business Things with the Business People—and Criss did his thing. After a misunderstanding with Cletus’ bear, he and I decided to return to the inn and then explore the outer ring of the city late that night to investigate the disappearances. Criss and Miner’s Delight decided they would join us, so we all journeyed out to the outer ring to look around. As we were wandering around, our group was attacked by a band of mysterious strangers. My companions held their own in the battle—they are no warriors, but Cletus’ bear proved himself most fearsome in the engagement, and earned my respect. After questioning one vagabond we had captured, we discovered many people who had gone missing from the city and freed them from captivity. Our prisoner told us of a place he feared to return to, and so we determined to venture there and reveal the mystery behind these abductions. As we passed through a wide field three creatures appeared from the earth and engaged us. I felt secure in my ability to defeat them, but to my shock the blade magic I command refused to heed me—the creatures appeared to nullify my supernatural connection. Without the benefit of that skill, they took more time to vanquish, evidently exhibiting some kind of resistance to physical harm from our attacks. Cletus continued to impress me as he summoned nature’s animals to the fray, keeping two of the enemy pinned as I vanquished the third. Miner’s Delight demonstrated her obvious incompetence when her bow string broke and she didn’t apparently have a replacement. She then proceeded to drop the sword she evidently has no idea how to use, except apparently on herself, when she stabbed herself while flailing at the creature. I defeated my enemy with the might of the Stone Dragon school and rushed to aid Cletus and Hudson (his bear), who had successfully grappled it until we could unite to destroy it. After the other bears took care of the third enemy, we regrouped to catch our breath and recuperate before deciding our next course of action.

Welcome to your campaign!
A blog for your campaign

Wondering how to get started? Here are a few tips:

1. Invite your players

Invite them with either their email address or their Obsidian Portal username.

2. Edit your home page

Make a few changes to the home page and give people an idea of what your campaign is about. That will let people know you’re serious and not just playing with the system.

3. Choose a theme

If you want to set a specific mood for your campaign, we have several backgrounds to choose from. Accentuate it by creating a top banner image.

4. Create some NPCs

Characters form the core of every campaign, so take a few minutes to list out the major NPCs in your campaign.

A quick tip: The “+” icon in the top right of every section is how to add a new item, whether it’s a new character or adventure log post, or anything else.

5. Write your first Adventure Log post

The adventure log is where you list the sessions and adventures your party has been on, but for now, we suggest doing a very light “story so far” post. Just give a brief overview of what the party has done up to this point. After each future session, create a new post detailing that night’s adventures.

One final tip: Don’t stress about making your Obsidian Portal campaign look perfect. Instead, just make it work for you and your group. If everyone is having fun, then you’re using Obsidian Portal exactly as it was designed, even if your adventure log isn’t always up to date or your characters don’t all have portrait pictures.

That’s it! The rest is up to your and your players.


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